Piercing a girl's ears

an archaic right of passage to womanhood?

They are nose to nose
holding hands
as the needle is prepared.

The girl of ten closes her eyes
as her mother looks upon her sweet,
beautiful, 
perfect face. 

Am I doing right by her? she wonders.

The babe she birthed 
is about to be permanently defaced - 

For what reason are we doing this? 

The daughter is in that awkward phase 
where books have begun to replace Barbies -
that brief window of time before boys.

She takes a deep breath in.

That’s good.
You’re doing great.

Mother is impressed her daughter is going through with it
considering not even two months ago
she had declared she was NEVER
getting her ears pierced. 

"I am almost ready", the piercer says 
elongating allllllmost.

Her grip strengthens.

Maybe that’s what this is about.

This right of passage ritual the mother found herself 
participating in with her daughter
got her thinking.

Is this a practice in strength?
The start of building a tolerance for pain? 

Are you doing okay? she asks.
Her head nods yes.

In the car on the way there, the question is asked one last time:

Are you sure this is what you want?

Yes.

But why?
Why are you doing it? 
What are you hoping to feel?

There is silence.
Attention goes in and out of focus
as the scenery of the car ride passes.

She answers:

I want to feel brave I guess.

Both are surprised at the honesty and effortlessness of her words.

"Okay, you’re going to feel my tweezers,"
he says.
"Big breath in..." 

The girl inhales through her nose and squeezes her mother’s hand.

He pushes the needle through her precious young lobe.

"Okay, now
Push out, push out, push out...
Good job."

I’m so proud of you.
Almost done. 

The girl opens her eyes. 

I did it! 
Her smile is bright and big.
 
You did it.

Note

“Choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid at the exact same time.”

– Brené Brown

Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. It’s doing something in spite of feeling fear. Describe a time you were both brave and afraid at the same time. How did you get through it? Who or what helped you build the courage to move through the fear?

Tell me your story of bravery here.

If you think others might benefit from reading this, please consider sharing it.

Are you new here and want to join our community of women? I hope you’ll consider subscribing.

Write

On my 18th birthday, I gave myself the gift of getting my cartilage pierced. Standing in the doorway of the piercer’s shop at the mall, I decided that I couldn’t go through with it and turned to leave. My high school government teacher happened to be standing there. He had a Victoria’s Secret bag in his hand - I remember this because I thought it was funny and pointed it out to him. He straightened his posture and proudly shared he was shopping for his wife. When I told him what I was doing, he gave me a fatherly, disappointed-in-me-look and directed me to march back in there. “Don’t chicken out. You can do it,” he said.